| Categories: Practice Transformation | Author: Ashley Libby Diaz | 5
I was on a business retreat, in the magical and barren Joshua Tree desert, last month. I had come with nine other women entrepreneurs to explore past trauma and long forgotten wounds.
I felt like an excavator or an archeologist, digging and exploring parts of myself that had yet to be discovered.
What a rich and beautiful treasure I unearthed.
For as long as I can remember, I have fought off my worst nightmare - an invisible nightmare that lurked in the back of my mind and in the hidden places of my soul.
Selfish. Lazy. Failure.
I fought the words as they surfaced.
“WHAT?!? That’s not me!!!!!!!!!!!!”
But it is what I’ve been running from. Hiding from. Dodging. Doing everything I can to not become.
It’s my wound - one of the worst things anyone could ever call or think of me.
And yet, as the wound emerged into the light, I realized, I love it. It’s made me who I am. And it’s made me uniquely able to fully understand and serve my clients.
My wound drives me. It shows up in my business and life - often in sneaky and unexpected ways, both bad and good. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Why?
Because this wound allows me to know my clients’ pain.
I know what it’s like to feel completely depleted, exhausted, and worn out from pushing to the limits and the never-ending stream of giving selflessly to others - our patients, so that no one can see how really selfish we are.
I know the push to always keep up the appearance that we’re happy, healthy, and balanced so our “lazy” side doesn’t show.
I was a practicing physical therapist once upon a time. I know how ‘do as I say, not as I do' goes all too well.
As health, healing, and holistic practitioners, we give, and give, and then give some more, until our cup is perpetually empty. It’s ingrained in us in all sorts of ways and on all sorts of levels that we have to be selfless in our giving to our patients, practices, and professions.
Taking time for ourselves, to care for ourselves and fill up our cups, isn’t part of the deal. It's selfish!
When I was practicing, I often worked six days a week, and many days I would work from 7 AM to 7 PM and see over 40 patients in a day. It was horrible, for me and my patients.
I was coming from a place of lack. I wasn’t able to give all of me, because there wasn’t anything to give. I didn’t have enough energy for me, never mind my patients.
It doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, if it is that way, it can’t stay that way. I assure you.
In order to be a healing force for your patients, you have to give from your overflow.
Let me say that again.
In order to be a healing force for your patients, you have to give from your overflow.
AND...
You can’t give from your overflow if you’re constantly giving selflessly to others and never filling up your own cup.
Stated more simply, you HAVE TO BE selfish to heal your patients.
Yes, that’s right! You have to be selfish - in a healthy way.
I’m not saying completely disregard others. I’m saying, put you first. Work on you. Fill up your cup. And then give to others what’s left.
Easier said than done when you’re in a practice that’s out of alignment with you and your needs! It may even be impossible. But when you have a practice that serves you first, piece of cake.
Are you ready for that? Do you want that? Or does it seem out of reach? Does it scare you? Send me a message and let me know.
I invite you to think of all of the ways that you can begin to fill up your cup starting today. Maybe it’s getting a weekly massage. Maybe it’s taking five or 10 minutes to read in your favorite book every night. Maybe it’s taking a walk outside at lunch or after work. Whatever it is for you, start doing it today.
This might seem selfish. You are taking away from your patients, your family, your friends. AND, it’s necessary.
It’s being selfish in the healthiest way possible. It fills you up, so you can give selflessly to others, without putting yourself in jeopardy.
It’s time to turn on your healthy selfishness, so you can heal yourself and your patients!
With love and light,
Ashley
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